It's that time of the year again. Whether you like it or hate it, April Fools day is here, and with it, most of the major companies are rolling out their best gags and jokes — or their best efforts at one, anyway. For your convenience, either to track down jokes or purposely avoid them, we've put together a list of all the ones we've spotted so far.
Spotify Discocover Weekly
If you subscribe to Spotify, you're probably familiar with the Discover Weekly playlist, which gives you a curated selection of music that matches your tastes every seven days. But today Spotify has rolled out the new and improved weekly playlist you didn't know you needed.
Discocover Weekly
The new Discocover weekly playlist gives you a personalized mixtape of "disco covers and covers of disco," or, in other words, "everything you needed in life."
Disco never died, it just went digital.
Roku's pet-friendly remote
According to a recent survey, Roku owners have a major pet peeve when it comes to the streaming platform's current remotes. To alleviate their concerns, the company is releasing a new Press Paws Remote that's easier for dogs to use. It features new Animal-themed shortcut buttons in ergonomic paw-shapes, Bark Assistant Technology, and even a built-in Sub-WOOFer for extra high-frequency reproduction.
The new remote should provide your dog with an enhanced streaming experience.
Jabra Earbud(dy)
This April 1st, Jabra wants you to know that it's solved one of the biggest problems when it comes to on-ear headphones: sharing. Rather than be required to split a pair of earbuds, the new Jabra Earbud(dy) lets you and a pal share precisely one-half of the full on-ear experience.
Featuring an ultra-light, extending headband, waterproof design, and dual voice assistant support, your perfectly personalized music experience can easily become someone else's.
Microsoft
In an April equivalent to loudly yelling "bah, humbug!" before kicking a curled-up Tiny Tim in the stomach, Microsoft wants you to know it's banned April Fool's day jokes. The concern is, and I quote, "unwanted news cycles."
Microsoft is serrious biznees, guise.
Hampton Lumber's line of Smart Trees
We've got smart lights, smart outlets, smart cameras, smart appliances, all constituent parts of whole smart homes, but these "smarts" haven't extended to your landscaping. At least, not until now.
Hampton's new IoTree is the first in a new line of cutting-edge smart trees. The cloud-connected, two-hundred-foot-tall IoTree costs a mere $375,000, providing music playback functionality, lighting, and voice-controlled internet search (via an additional $25 monthly fee).
Tinder Height Verification
Introducing the thing you never asked for, but definitely always wanted—Tinder Height Verification. Coming soon.
Read more about it here: https://t.co/8MER0L1U6W pic.twitter.com/hZ507zSoic— Tinder (@Tinder) March 29, 2019
Tinder has finally caved to the platform's most requested feature. Starting soon, the company will be rolling out height verification, forcing honestly into digital peacocking.
The new tool uses a state of the art verification method to determine your accurate height from a photo of you standing near a building, aiming to reduce the number of fraudulent 6" listings on the platform, as well as prospective partner's subsequent altitudinal disappointment.
Google Maps Snake
Starting yesterday, Google Maps rolled out Snake — as in, the game where you seek out objects on a screen as a snake, growing a bit longer as you nom each one — in Google Maps.
This version has a slight visual twist: your snake is a mass transit vehicle, and you're picking up passengers in one of six major cities, or across the whole world.
The game is available in the side-swiping menu in Google Maps on Android, as well as desktop. Be careful, though, the controls seem to have a tiny bit of latency if you play on a phone.
Files screen cleaner
Today Google has revealed its new Screen Cleaning feature for the Files app. Harnessing the often misused smudge_detector API, together with geometric dirt models and the haptic micromovement generator, Files can detect when your phone is filthy and clean it off for you, while also preventing future buildup.
T-Mobile PhoneBoothE (Mobile EditionE)
Following this weekend's launch of the Phone BoothE in Yew York City, DC, and Seattle, T-Mobile, has finally caved to customer requests that it further roll out its latest innovation and Evolution in mobile.
The new PhoneBoothE Mobile EditionE is, as the name suggests, a personal phone booth, providing you privacy and security on the go, all without compromising on portability.
T-Mobile described its features and potential uses best when it said, "Promised you’d go to that party but dreading all the small talk? Stand in a corner with this on your head and talk to yourself in low tones. Ain’t nobody gonna be talking to you. Trust." Other use cases include NSFW conversations with romantic partners, story-avoidance, and airline comfort.
Hold on for our hands-on, as T-Mobile spared no expense overnighting me one of my own.
Google Tulip
Thanks to the ongoing magic of machine learning, Google has finally brought us the future in human to plant translation. Just for tulips, though.
Harnessing existing root-based communication methods, the Google Tulip builds on work out of Wagenigen University in the Netherlands, ultimately giving us the ability to communicate with tulips via the Assistant in a dozen different human languages.
Google Tulip improves both our individual understanding of day to day plant life and your tulip's personal wellbeing. They're also excellent listeners, and sources of sound advice. Support for other species, including the cactus, is coming.
Nokia 9 PureView X-ray camera
You may remember the blacked-out location on the camera array behind the Nokia 9 PureView, visible in our review. Today Nokia has revealed the ultimate purpose of that final sensor: It's an X-ray camera.
The new X-ray camera functionality is useful for on the go bone breaks and fractures and... well, really just that. Still, X-rays, man.
The app that enables the functionality will be rolling out soon.
Lawnchair Launcher
we might've fucked your setup for the next 24 hours, but hey, you don't need looks anyways when tweeting with us, right? pic.twitter.com/YZ0B8wZhC7
— Lawnchair (@lawnchairapp) March 31, 2019
The well-known Lawnchair Launcher, provider of one of the best Stock-like home screens out there, today rolled out Comic Sans support. Mandatory Comic Sans support.
This is your life now.
More seriously, the inclusion marks the announcement of upcoming "full" font customization options for the application. (But you know you love it.)
Kodi TV MultiPass
KodiTV is rolling out an update which includes the new Koti TV MultiPass, an add-on subscription tier for $15 a month that grants access to up to three content providers (selectable each month). There's also a Micropass ($1 per movie or $0.29 per TV show), Megapass ($24 for all providers), and a Monster pass (Everything for $200 a year).
(As April Fools jokes go, this one could use a bit more humorous detail, as Kodi's announcement is a bit too serious-sounding.)
Lineage OS
The prank this year seems to be that there's no prank.
Once you find it, we're pretty sure you are going to love it this year!
— LineageOS (@LineageAndroid) April 1, 2019
At least it's better than last year's.
Google Calendar lazors pew pew
Google does some of the best April Fools gags, and this year is no exception. Google Calendar now features a Space Invaders-style game pitting you into laser-based combat against your schedule.
Each level is more difficult than the last, with more items on your schedule to destroy. Controls are either your mouse or keyboard, and the game is accessible via the settings cog at the top right on the Google Calendar site — desktop, not mobile, the latter looks like it was last updated in 2007.
The sound effects are 10/10 and easily the best part, you've got to check it out.
Google Fi expands support to the bottom of the Atlantic
You’ll feel a ~wave~ of emotions about this news—you’re now covered on Fi at the bottom of the Atlantic Ocean. 🌊 pic.twitter.com/da34B5LDEh
— Google Fi (@googlefi) April 1, 2019
Today Google Fi has announced that it has further expanded its already near-universal international coverage to the next logical market: the bottom of the Atlantic Ocean.
Google's annexation of the lost continent of Atlantis to follow.
https://www.androidpolice.com/2019/04/01/continuously-updated-2019-april-fools-roundup-all-the-jokes-from-around-the-web/
2019-04-01 15:34:00Z
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